Josh

On one little boring note, although I don’t usually bother to correct little gramatical things and misspellings and such, there was this one thing that I noticed but would probably completely overlook reading it again, so I thought I’d mention it. You said “Crackling torchlight glared in the whites of the prisoner’s eyes”. The torchLIGHT isn’t crackling, is it? It’s the torch itself. Maybe you should say “the light of crackling torches glared” etc. But wait, now I’m confused. Maybe the first way was right afterall. I don’t know.

Anywhichway, this chapter was incredible, Starr.

How do you do it? This chapter is AMAZING! Rough draft my foot, it’s better than the most edited things I’ve ever written. *huge eyes* WOW! GREAT JOB! LOVED the climax. Mirian’s sword fight was incredible, Lilia’s surprising strength was awesome, Taerith saving them both was lovely, Joachim reappeared (yay!), Mistress and Master Grey both were strong in ways I didn’t expect, and WHERE IN TARNATION IS KARDAS??????? I missed him in this chapter, he only appeared for a sec! Ah well. I must wait for chapter 17 then. I can be patient.

*evil chuckle* Oh, yes, I can be patient for a time….

;)

Anonymous II =]

Taerith trudging through the mire, calling out to Deus; that scene was impressive. The descriptions were rich and I felt not only cold and tingly reading it, but also the hopelessness of it. And when he called out to God, finally, it was like…. “duh!” But not “duh” like he should have said that sooner, but “duh” as in, don’t we do that? Trudge through the mire on our own strength until we can hardly move and only then ask God to come take over?

The use of birds as a motif is so very to my liking. The owl with moonlight on his wings was beautiful, and fittingly arrived after Taerith’s prayer. (representing the Spirit?)

Mistress Grey is turning out to have some good behind her cranky exterior. She seems to love her husband and care about her fellow servants and her good sense to release Joachim made me forget I had ever disliked her. I like it when characters surprise me, and she truly did.

One thing that was very well done if it was done on purpose, and if not was still great, was when Mirian was on her knees watching Meronane’s defeat through blurred vision, not knowing who her hero was. You had me thinking it was Joachim! Very nice ending. Very, very nice.

And you know, I half expected you to kill someone else in this chapter besides the bad guy. I was getting ready to write a very incensed comment protesting Mirian and/or Lilia’s death. ;-)

Well, I hope you get some time to keep you loyal fans happy with new posts. :-)

Anonymous =)