Comments on: Taerith: Chapter Thirteen

By: Rachel Rossano

Rachel Rossano — Thu, 24 May 2007 21:55:00 +0000

I love it! Well done. I had a moment or two that I was confused, but that was probably because I was doing too much at once. I am glad you didn’t kill off Kardas. :)

By: Libby Russell

Libby Russell — Fri, 18 May 2007 17:34:00 +0000

Yay, yay, yay! I have three chapter to read in a row! (Though I doubt I'll have time to get through them before I have to do the various errands I've been assigned for the day.)

This was a very good chapter. I am loving Mirian and Lilia more and more as I get to know them.

Taerith is my hero. I love the battle scene. His frustrations with his identity and the limits of what he will do for honor and duty make him seem so real. Like he is really a Romany brother, not just a character you made up.

The hawk was perfect for atmosphere and metaphore, and I love Taerith's depth in speaking to God through it. I don't know... it was fitting. I've come to expect as much from you. :-)

I loved the line about Kardas... "whatever it was that simmered under the surface of his face"

By: Brittany Simmons

Brittany Simmons — Sat, 21 Apr 2007 03:55:00 +0000

I am even more deeply in awe of your talent. There are so many undercurrents in Taerith, so many interesting glimpses of things lurking just beneath the surface that make you thirsty for more. This story is so beautiful!

By: Kyera

Kyera — Fri, 20 Apr 2007 19:02:00 +0000

It’s great to meet you, Rachel. I’ll definitely have to check out your book(s) and keep up with your writing. It’s nice to meet another writer and sister in Christ :)

~Kyera

By: Josh

Josh — Thu, 19 Apr 2007 18:27:00 +0000

Rachel, In a word, your writing is Horrible. HORRIBLY SHORT! Please use a time machine to go to the future where you can get the completed book and then bring it back so that we may bask in your literally genius.

By: Emily Mae

Emily Mae — Thu, 19 Apr 2007 13:53:00 +0000

Hey Missy,
Great job! Loved it. The developement between Mirian and Liila was great and well written. I felt that Taerith's sections were a little rougher, but nothing that can't be fixed (obviously...). ;)

One paragraph that confused me was this: " Taerith regarded his companion silently. He had wondered about Kardas—about the half-mistrust with which the others sometimes regarded him; about whatever it was that simmered under the surface of his face. He had wondered, until he had seen one of the raiders. They had caught the man at night while he raided a sheep cote, but his two companions got away.

He could have been Kardas’s brother."

There are too many "he's" in those sentences and not enough clarification on who the he's are. LOL, did that make sense? Anyway, EXCELLENT job. And thanks for posting so quickly. I appreciate it. :)

By: kappa

kappa — Thu, 19 Apr 2007 06:08:00 +0000

Beautiful chapter Rachel. I like how you’re building on friendships through personal sharing and mutual experiences – namely, Miriam and Lilia in the field and Kardas and Taerith in the aftermath of battle – Kardas seems equally observant as Taerith and they do seem to have somewhat similar temperaments – measured and perceptive.

Other than that, the chapter ended sooo soon. I am hooked and totally invested in this tale. Post 4 chapters next time. lol (the kind of demands one makes when one is not the one having to write and piece the whole material together :)